 | Recognizing the growing need of enhancing parent-child communication and to gather Tzu Chi Youths and their parents closer to the Tzu Chi World, the Tzu Chi Youth decided to pursue a Parents’Day Affair, which was also in line with celebrating Chinese Father’s Day. After a few planning sessions among Tzu Chi Youth personnel, lovely postcard invitations for the event found their way into the homes of our youths and their parents.
August 22, 2004, Sunday, A Day of Gratitude, A special day, we took time to work on the elaborate details of the event. The once formal four-walled auditorium of the Federation of Filipino-Chinese Chamber of Commerce building was transformed into a warm and festive space after some interior decorating done since last Friday. Starting at the middle of the ceiling, five-colored silk fabrics (red, orange, blue, white and yellow - patterned after the colors of the Buddhist flag) were artistically draped across the ceiling to the walls, creating an illusionary effect of a rainbow. This gave a light and airy feel to the area. A few mini-towers of balloons brightened up the space even more.
Upon arrival of our guests, they were warmly welcomed by Tzu Chi brothers and sisters singing a welcome song, and by the youth ushers who led them to the registration booth and to their seats. The program started with a video clipping of Tzu Chi This Week, featuring Tzu Chi’s recent medical mission in Malabon. Immediately after, the floor was given to the game masters for the day. The "Do you know your child?" Blindfold Game and the Parent-Child Dating Game both garnered a good audience participation. It was interesting to note that all 10 parents (paired with their respective children) who joined the blindfold game were fathers, an unusual active involvement, much to the delight of their children! Never mind if it sounds cliche-ish, but indeed, blood is thicker than water. Quite surprisingly, each of the 10 fathers was able to find their respective children despite being blindfolded, but not without a challenge. One father had difficulty confirming which son was his, but after a few more rounds, he finally found his son, which elicited a good laugh from the audience. While the first game focused on the physical aspect, the next batch of 10 parent-child pairs happily joined the Dating Game, which now focused more on the other’s personality and character. It spurred the participants to discover how well they know each other, with details ranging from the basic to the often unrecognized particulars. This too, was an enjoyable activity that created a positive exchange and rapport between the parents and their children.
When the games were done, the lights suddenly went out. Another minute passed, and it turned out to be the grand Livelihood Team parade! Dressed in the official Tzu Chi Kitchen Committee aprons, but with bandannas for an added youthful twist. The Livelihood Team for this event marched into the auditorium carrying full trays of delicious healthy vegetarian sandwiches (personally prepared by the Tzu Chi youths, brothers and sisters). After food was served, another round of parading commenced, this time for the drinks - bottled water, iced tea, or hot Happy tea. Livelihood servers were cheerful as they generously offered snacks, and refills, to the satisfaction of our guests.
After a hearty snack, the program continued with our volunteers cum actors taking the center stage with a live skit. Drafted based on the real life experiences of our Tzu Chi youth and elders/parents, and balanced with the point of view of the experiences of our Tzu Chi brothers and sisters with their own children, the skit showed the realities of a typical family from the parents’daily concerns sometimes expressed through sermons upon the kids waking up. These concerns included matters such as studying, making friends, courting, gimmicks, mobile phone billings, sleeping late, spending, and others. The skit also featured the children’s mixed responses of reasoning out, keeping thoughts to oneself, being unappreciative of the concerns, distancing and so on... Eventually, the children’s characters got involved in a 3-day Tzu Chi youth summer camp in which they were taught the importance of filial piety and doing good deeds. This led to some significant changes in the children’s behavior which the parents came to observe. Eventually, through the continuing encouragement of Tzu Chi brothers and sisters, the parents also became part of Tzu Chi, thus, also leading to personal changes that helped create a better harmonious family life. While the play lasted only for around 20 minutes, it certainly brought thought-provoking questions/reflections to both parents and children. Based on their post-event feedback, they were able to identify themselves with the characters. A job well done by our director and performers!
Later came the awaited inspiring interaction time - all parents were asked to comfortably remain in their seats while the youths were led inside a conference room. The two groups were facilitated separately, given the fact that each group has their own set of targeted concerns and points of view. For both groups, an excerpt from one of Master Cheng Yen’s talks was projected to show the realities of parent-child relationships. Thanks to Master Cheng Yen, the wisdom in her teachings gave a balanced analysis on parents’ hardships in raising and understanding their children as well as the children’s difficulties in trying to reach out and in interpreting their parents’ love This eventually paved way to an intimate open sharing initiated by our experienced Tzu Chi uncles and aunties, who themselves have been children and are now parents.
Leading the parents’ interaction was a team of five respectable and well-loved Tzu Chi brothers and sisters whose experiences in raising their own children and in trying to deal with the personal problems that Tzu Chi youths share with them, has constantly taught them to find new ways of creating bonding moments with the current complex generation. It was heartwarming to see that the parents listened eagerly as each of the speakers imparted their personal stories. As always, parents only want the best for their children. True. However, in their aspiration for their children to excel, sometimes, unbeknownst to them, the pressure imposed becomes a heavy load being carried by the children. This typically turns out to be the source of conflict within the family. Through sharing, it came out that establishing an open communication line, coupled with a loving parental approach, is a good way to reconnect with the youths.
In the other room, the youths’ interaction was running simultaneously. A simple reflection session turned out to be valuable in allowing the youths to realize the worth of their parents’ love. While parents often think that their children neither understand them nor appreciate their love, personal reflections revealed that the children do love their parents but they just have a hard time expressing their feelings, given the traditional conservative upbringing most of them have in the family. Also, there is always the difficulty of voicing out opinions, for fear that they might be misinterpreted as challenging their parents. And yes, while they often put their parents’ love to the test, they still and will always love them best.
After an hour and a half of inspirational sharing, the mood was emotional and both the participants and the volunteers had heartfelt gratitude within themselves. Making the most out of it, the children made a special grand entrance, each holding a fresh sampaguita garland, and went in search for their parents. In an instant, the light sweet scent of sampaguita filled the air. Children placed the beautifully hand-made garlands on their parents’ as the parents graciously lowered their heads to receive them with much joy in their hearts. Some became teary-eyed; some were embracing tightly; and to some, it was simply a chance to soften the wall. Undeniably, it was a lovely sight to behold! Incidentally, the term "Sampaguita" comes from the Tagalog words "sumpa kita," which means "promise you." At that very moment, it turned out to be a pledge of mutual love between the parents and their children and a reminder of Master Cheng Yen’s teaching, "There are two things in this world that cannot wait: being filial to one’s parents and doing good deeds.".
As the parent-child pairs sat together, a group of TCY performed a well-choreographed sign language interpretation to the music of "The Picture of a Kneeling Lamb" which reinforces the greatness of a parent’s love and the gratitude that children should show towards them through the analysis and symbolism of how an actual baby lamb kneels down whenever it is to receive milk from the mother. As a finale, "Thank You for Your Love" was performed as the participants exited the venue. It was dedicated to all the parents and to all the children as well.
The event ended with much warmth and happiness, and later on, some parents and children mingled with the TC personnel. As it was an affair to remember, everyone was given a copy of Master’s Inspirational Talk "Embracing One’s Fathers" for them to take home, and hopefully live out the wisdom in her teachings.
August 22, 2004. Sunday. A Day of Gratitude. Our sincere and deepest gratitude to those who made this event possible. True enough, it was a day of gratitude.
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